Fear on the Road
When I get scared, I can easily lose control... actually I can lose control any time at all. Control of my brain and control of my body. It is especially scary when this happens in the car and we are driving.
I have to talk about it right then to process, think and understand what is scaring me.
It can make me upset if I am having a big behavior and someone says, "Stop it, you are being dangerous!" At that point, I cannot help it an that will make it worse.
We usually pull over to talk. Being on the side of the road or a highway puts us in a dangerous position.
Our County, and all counties, need Intensive Family Support Services that are mobile and come to where I am to help me to calm down. The Support Services will act much like police, but they are specially trained and have new technology.
All of my friends with disabilities need this too.
For now, stopping the car to talk helps and mommy can calm me down, but I want someone with me 24/7 to help me.
When I am president of all people with disabilities, I will help everyone in this way.
July 05th, 2019
I am Jake and I am hoping to make changes for all people with disabilities. I want to be the president for all people with disabilities and make lives less stressful for all of us.
I want to have different rules so my friends and I don't get in trouble or go to jail. People with disabilities cannot live in jail.
There are many really fun things that are overwhelming and stressful. I am always afraid that I cannot be perfect all the time so if I change rules for people with disabilities, we will be ok to be ourselves. I am afraid to have a job because I could be fired. I am afraid to do a good job because then when I don't do a good job I will not meet expectations. Expectations are very stressful. It makes me feel like I have to be perfect.
Being unsafe is my biggest challenge. I think about it all the time and am afraid I will actually do something unsafe. I cannot help it when I disrobe, elope, safe unsafe words, break a boundary, accidentally break a law. Sometimes I don't even remember doing things, and I could get a big consequence.
Regular police will no longer respond to calls for autism families. There will be a new number to call, 811, to get a crisis unit to come to the house. In the crisis unit/vehicle, there will be therapists, behaviorists, blue lights, heavy blankets, and fidget toys. They will be happy therapists, not mad-faced police with weapons. There will be a crisis vehicle at every fire station.
I don't want my friends to worry about having jobs or making money. They will just have money to get the things that they need. Telling the difference between needs and wants is also hard.
Making life easier and stopping people with disabilities from getting harsh consequences is what I want to do as president for people with disabilities. --Jake
When I'm Overwhelmed
Allow me to preface Jake's first blog post. The idea behind creating, these blog pages many years ago was that one day Jake would be able to share his ideas with others. His anxiety causes him to be pretty repetitive so those and punctuation are the only edits I make. This is Jake's writing and his view of the world this particular day. He writes them on his iPhone and emails them to me as one giant sentence. I am not condoning, criticizing, or judging, merely just posting as I promised I would. He feels empowered to help other kids and parents who struggle with autism. He feels a physical relief after purging this information (like his mommy)... he does it several times per week... Anxiety rules. You'll see.
When I’m overwhelmed I break stuff. I could do vandalism or property destruction. I threaten and curse such as F Word N word M word etc.. or make unsafe gestures. I even can get violent and do unsafe behaviors, hurting others, being aggressive or self injury and screaming peoples' names which might violate privacy. Sometimes I am not controlling myself physically, threatening, throwing body around, especially when I scary faces.
I teach police to understand these things can happen when people with Autism are out of control and they cannot help it. You cannot punish autism away. But mom says rules are important.
Some days are very hard because sometimes, if I'm in an overwhelming setting, it may look like I'm committing a crime. Some people with Autism don’t understand the importance of safe behavior vs. unsafe behavior and the law. I think it’s important to know that we don’t punish autism and we need to have lesser punishments when someone with Autism is upset. If someone is upset and they get taken to jail that could make things a lot worse. I understand that not all people understand autism and may think I'm just being rude or entitled or dangerous.
If police get a call that someone with Autism is committing a crime, they should try to understand that they may just be overwhelmed and not in control. Police should try to calm that person down until they are ready to talk. If they are still upset and being physical they need to move to be somewhere safer.
Now when I’m at home, the actual truth is, when I’m tired it’s hard for me to make great choices. Sometimes with my challenges I feel so scared about punishment and consequences I don’t MAKE THE BEST CHOICES. That's when I bite my finger, hurt myself, sometimes break things, use unsafe words, ta property destruction, break walls, scream, run around and hurt mom.
I still jump and rock on my bed when I have a burst of energy. I put a hole in my ceiling with my head once and got really silly. All of this can be scary for me and my family. If police come and I'm hyper you can tell me to stop and I can't do it right then. Just wait. I help police understand that when I’m unsafe at home or it appears I'm committing a crime by property destruction, the most important thing is to let me calm down FIRST then we can talk and find solutions.
Sometimes taking a person with autism to a hospital or jail that just makes it worse.
When my behaviors get too high, I just snap and can do something dangerous or illegal and don't even realize it. The best way to handle this is to talk and find solutions to the problem or trigger. Take breaks in a quiet space. Quiet and dark for 3 minutes. The worst case scenario is jail
All police should understand I’m having a hard time in this world and to be cautious and be safe. We care for you and we love the police.
I have had a nightmare about a dream about police in the neighborhood when I was eloping and trespassing on property. I dreamed I got arrested and tased. I am afraid because I saw some very dangerous things online a few years ago. It is stuck in my brain. The police had glasses and with black hair and blue eyes and had a car like MCPD.
Next night mare
I had a dream at the dump of two strangers coming up to the window mom and Jake and they came and were complaining about us putting stuff in the wrong bins and they were going to call police.
On 9 /14/18 I had a nightmare last night the time was 12:00 at night. My police friend M saw me on the highway at night. I ran and got in a wooden big building and I was on the celling like spider man. M yelled to me and I didn’t listen because I was so scared. Then I ran to the highway again and I was hanging upside down on the bridge of traffic and then fire rescue came and got me down and transported me.
This is all the stuff I saw online a long time ago and from a police training by mistake.
I also had to mention that if I am scared and you yell to me I cannot hear you.
I can only see OR listen and I cannot do both at the same time.
Even if you talk right to me and my eyes move around fast, I do not hear you. I need to be calm before we can talk and find solutions to fix the problem and understand. Leaving and finding a quiet space works best.